Now, I am no expert, but I do have a passion for relationships. In all the successful relationships I have seen there are a lot of common qualities between couples. Here I will share some of those tips and my insight into the world of relationships.
What I classify as a successful relationship : to have a successful relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean its your forever person. Even if the relationship has ended, it may have still been successful if: no one regrets the relationship, you look back and have happy memories, and you can acknowledge why the relationship did or didn’t work. Past relationships are a great way to know what you do and don’t want from love. If you are in a successful relationship maybe you can relate to some of these points!
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- You have the right intentions.
- While the things you do may not always turn out well, you do everything with the intention of happiness, laughter, surprise or goodness. You don’t want to intentionally hurt the other person because it won’t end well. When you do things with a good heart, even if things don’t work out as planned, often times it will calm down quickly. And the best case scenario, the other person will be happy which will make you happy. An example is: you cook your love a nice meal, you have the right intentions to make them happy by making them something to eat, possibly something new or their favourite. You do this because you want them to like it, so your intentions are good regardless of the outcome.
- Compromise is the best.
- This is pretty classic but it is probably the best thing to happen to your relationship. It is hard to share everything with another person, even if you have everything in common, compromise will still come in handy. Before you do anything, make sure both of you are on board, this will stop any conflict from occurring, because when you compromise you know that you may not always get your way. For my personal relationship, we compromise on everything and it is a pretty equal compromise, where as other couples benefit from a compromise that is more one sided but they both know that is what works best.
- Make sure to laugh.
- Laughter is the best medicine, and it really is true. From a psychological perspective in simple terms, when you laugh the happiness in your brain increases which will raise your mood. Things that make me laugh are tickles and hearing cheesy pick up lines, so when I am in a rough mood I am usually cheered up by one of those things, and often times leads to either really silly conversations or just a good time. Learn what makes your partner laugh, keep it in the back of your mind and use it when needed. But remember, it may not always work.
- Be open minded and accepting.
- We all make mistakes and sometimes it can’t be cured with laughter, you may need to have a serious sit down talk. Prepare yourself to be open. When having these talks, prepare by having a drink you enjoy and sit down in a common area, prepare to stay calm and listen, it’ll be hard not to overreact sometimes but just take a few deep breaths and think before you speak. Avoiding conflict is key, but don’t hold things in. If there is an issue that is bothering you, say it right away (in a nice soft way), it isn’t good to hold things in, and the sooner you talk about it the more likely the other person is to understand and you can both move forward and work through the hard times.
- It’s okay to be romantic.
- Take time and be lovey dovey! This is something I had to learn myself, after being single for so long before going into a relationship I had to learn that being romantic in public is okay. But, romantic things are best kept between the people in the relationship. If you don’t like other people kissing, then you yourself don’t kiss in front of others. In a relationship always establish bounties, discuss what you are and aren’t comfortable with whether it be displays of affection or more intimate acts. Always be on a common ground in this area, you both want to be comfortable!
When talking to people about relationships these are the top common topics that come up, every couple is different, and everyone goes into a relationship want it to succeed! Communication is key in addition to being open, loving and kind.
If you have any relationship questions or want some advice, feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
© Amanda Mallie, 2016