It’s Not Always Easy | Living For The Future

This topic has been on my mind for a while now, and I feel like writing about it will give me some insight into my true opinions.Today I will be talking about “living for the future”, in comparison to living in the present, as it has been said that we should do while we are young. Things may get interesting and I would love to hear your thoughts as well!  *Open to continue reading…*

I am the eldest in my family, in terms of my cousins and sibling. I have many aunts and uncles to look up too and some well, rather to learn from their mistakes if you choose to call them that. I have a pretty typical family, but in my own mind I know that I should be the example for those younger than myself. Its a lot more self-pressure than pressure from those around me. 

I work hard, I am always told I work hard by those I work with in my life, but to me, it always seems as though I could be doing more. I feel as though every minute of my life should be dedicated to working in some way. Whether it be for school, at my job, at places I volunteer for, or even this blog sometimes, but mostly school. I am the first person in my family to go to university, not to say that there is anything wrong with college, but to me it is a big deal. This year I will be graduating with my Bachelors degree and I began to look back and realize what I have accomplished in my four years.

ee94ba7e2cc3648a6d5f8758af06a13fIn my four years, I never went “downtown”. Going downtown and partying is typically things you associate with university students, and I have never once went. It is usually the topic of conversation between friends during class, and I love to hear the stories! But sometimes it can be hard to relate. Although none of the details of the experience sound appealing to me. Getting drunk, getting handsy with strangers, spending money for drinks, and getting lost in crowds of people. I know, I know these are assumptions since it isn’t always like this, but I guess I wouldn’t know. In a way I kind of wish I had a friend that would force me to get out at least once, but my friends are too nice. What sucks the most is that I just don’t get invited … I think people assume that just because I never have gone out, that I wouldn’t want too, which isn’t the case. Maybe one day I will go!

In my four years, I haven’t had an adventure. Now I can’t say that I haven’t traveled at all, but my first three years I didn’t. Only within this past year have I begun to travel a bit. I have been camping, to Toronto, to Tennessee and soon to Florida. But I haven’t had a great adventure, or went somewhere out of the ordinary. I went to school in my home town mostly to be close to family, but I’ve always wondered how it would be to move away and live on my own. If you have the opportunity to try this, I suggest you do! Move away, make friends, go on adventures, find hidden gems, find a place where you feel you can think and spend time with yourself, because while you may miss small family events, family will always be there. I have grown with my family these past years, but I feel like I could have grown as an individual if I had left.

81285e4e57ed04b05d23779e490e6796In my four years, I’ve drifted away from friends. Yeah now its getting sad. In high school, I used to dance at a studio and I then had my ‘dance friends’ who some then became my true friends. In high school I got along with everyone, but I had some true friends as well. In high school, I would hangout with people from outside my school and be very open to new people, some who became my true friends. Every year on my birthday I would invite all my true friends to a party, and it is some of the best times I have with my friends. The last time we were all together was my 19th birthday. Since then, I have only seen half of them. Nothing bad every happened, we just unfortunately lost touch, and I miss them more then they know. But with busy schedules and busy lives, its hard to find time, and no one ever wants to feel annoying. Sometimes I wonder if they every think of me and want to catch up, but even if they do they never say anything, because they probably think the same as me. Maybe one day we will reconnect.

In my four years, I have learnt to be a good student. In high school I didn’t try. I was fine with getting average grades. Even though my parents would bribe me with trips and gifts to get the coveted honor roll for a year, it never seemed appealing to me, it always seemed like too much work. But somehow I was good enough to get into University, and I am so happy I did. First year was a reality check and it really knocked me into shape! I learnt what it was to really study for a test, to really know the material and understand it. I learnt not to be afraid to ask for help because it is always better to ask then to be clueless. Since first year, I have increased my average by 20%, something counselors told me couldn’t be done, but having a counselor who wouldn’t accept any of my excuses and always told me to just work harder, really made a difference.

imagesIn my four years, I have become in control of my life. Something I am proud of is that I have changed. Personality wise I would say I am still the same person, but I have found new things to be passionate about that take up most of my time. I have become organized, and I love being organized. I love having an agenda that holds every bit of my life inside. I love being on top of my school work and knowing all the things I need to know. I love scheduling and being on time. I love having a look, and always looking presentable because you never know who you will run into. I love planning events, and knowing that I am making a difference to help someone even if it isn’t direct. I love seeing people smile and know I am the reason for their smile. I love networking and meeting people who can make a difference in my life now and later. There are a lot of new, and simple things that I love, that keep my life busy.

While there is always more I could have done, and there are things I have missed out on, I know my life has changed for the better, and I have so many new people in my life now who want me to succeed. Everything I do now is for a goal, to get to a stable place in my life so I will be comfortable enough to do all the things I want and have time to do it all. Now that I will be graduating, change is coming. Whether I go into the work force or go back to school, it will be different from the past four years, but it will get me closer to my end goal, I hope.


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