Friendships Are Hard … | Growing Up

Lets have a chat about something that’s been weighing on my mind recently, what happens to friendships after high school/teenage years. Of course my story may be different than others, but I can honestly say I wasn’t expecting it to end up this way.

I was talking to a girl at work one day, who is only a couple years younger than I am, and we were talking about how we spent our time with our friends in high school. She went on to saying her and her friends still hangout all the time, that they are together a lot. When she ask about my relationship with my friends, I started to remember all the times I spent with them and things that we did, but then I recalled that while it feels like those times just happened, it really was over 4 years ago. The girl I spoke with, her and I do lead different lifestyles, but it really made me think about why did I loose touch with so many of my friends, friends who I was really close to 4 years ago.

399960_10200398590462556_200201245_n.jpgWe took different paths. To me the typical thing to do after high school is to go to University or College, and to have a part-time job and start your life. But that only happened for me. Everyone else in my life really did take different paths. One move across the country, two went to college, one worked full-time and others were just undecided. We all had different responsibilities, it was the time when “the parents” started making some of us pay for things as well as some had cars to pay off, oh and school. All of us had jobs. With a job there becomes a lot of time that is devoted to working and making money, because unfortunately money is important.

258710_1998811765161_574541_o.jpgThere was never enough time.
Days often go by too quickly when there is so much that needs to be done. While some enjoy the idea of running around, I do not, and maybe that was my downfall. When I had a day off of work as well as nothing that needed to be done for school, that’s when I would make plans. And that only seemed to be one day a week. In addition, when you have a significant other, its unfortunate to say but they usually claim those days because you both want to see each other. But it wasn’t just love that occupied those days, it was family as well. I am close with my family and as much as I never thought this was true, you really do become closer with family as you grow up. Anyways … for me there was never enough time in life and schedules never seemed to add up.

269494_2074722582884_5711704_nNow its 4 years later. I have many emotions. I hate that I let those people get away. I am happy because I know we are all doing something we love with our lives. I fear that some of them I may never speak to again because of lost connections. I wish I knew if they think about the memories just as I do. I miss them, but I am happy that I miss them. For every time I scroll through all those hidden Facebook albums or drive by the places we used to go, only the happiest of memories come back and for a small time I can reminisce. Maybe one day I will make the first move and ask them how they have been, but I am sure they feel the same anxiety about it as I do. Because as much as you want to reconnect, what if the other person doesn’t want too?

But it isn’t all bad. I haven’t lost everyone, I still have some true true friends who have stuck around. Who wouldn’t forget about me. And as much as this idea of “loosing your friends” from high school. It really is great to see how everyone has chosen to live their lives. We are all different. But I am happy that when we were younger and at our most vulnerable time (being a teenager) we got to make these connections and help each other out in making those years our best years. While I doubt any person from my past will be reading this, if you are, I am happy for you and all that you have and will accomplish. If ever you need anything, I am here. 

(trying to find pictures without faces in them is very difficult btw)

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@amandamallie & @amandamalizani
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© Amanda Mallie, 2017




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